Receiving Feedback After a Performance - when it is complimentary

We will often receive some kind of feedback after we’ve performed. We usually have a lot of self-criticism we are telling ourselves as soon as the performance is done. But what to do and how to respond when someone approaches you after you've performed - whether it is someone you know or someone you don't? Learning how to receive and respond to feedback is a skill to learn and develop itself. We often think of feedback containing either some type of critique - usually negative, but indeed we can also receive well-meaning constructive critique as well. At some point I may blog on these instances, but for now I’d like to focus on how we respond to receive great feedback and enthusiastic praise. We don’t often think of this as being uncomfortable, but sometimes it can be.

Learning to receive a compliment is skill. Lean too far one way and you'll come across as conceited and aloof (so unattractive!). Lean too far the other way and you'll make the person complimenting you feel awkward or sorry they said anything (yeah, we don't want to do that either).

When someone approaches you with a compliment or with effusive and enthusiastic feedback about how much they enjoyed your performance, remember this: they are presenting you with a gift. They took the time to approach you. So... be kind and grace-filled in your response.

A simple, gentle and humble thank you is all it takes.

Depending on the situation you might want to follow up with a "I'm glad you enjoyed it." You could perhaps ask them what was their favourite part, before affirming your appreciation again.

One way we can make people feel bad after they've complimented us is if we start to denigrate ourselves or are highly critical of ourselves. "Oh, no. That was sooo bad. I sounded sooo bad!" or you list all the things that went wrong - how your voice cracked in the bridge, or you muffed your lyrics etc…

When we do this, in essence, we are arguing with our appreciative audience member. We're telling them that they are ‘wrong’ if they enjoyed it. 

Hey! You might have had some bad moments in there (it happens!) but there is a time and place (and a proper approach and attitude) for undertaking a post-match review of your performance. 

This scenario is rarely it - especially with those who don't know you personally. Save that conversation for one you have with yourself, your friend or your voice coach. Don't dump that negativity on the person who genuinely enjoyed what you presented.

How we receive a compliment will either heighten the pleasure our listener enjoyed from our performance or it will make them sorry they approached us at all.